Friday, June 13, 2014

Hug Your Ambitions

This topic is much broader than I have room for in a single blog post, so expect to see more on this subject as we go. Since I have had children, I have been fortunate enough to find career positions with a lot of flexibility in regards to my schedule. Over the past 9-1/2 years, I have regularly struggled with whether to work in an office or stay at home. I have had several conversations with moms of all career statuses: from full-time homemaker who attended minimal college, to full-time homemaker who has a Master's Degree, to part-time career moms, to full-time career moms and so many in between. My recent "forced" change in employment has caused me to step back and really think about what I want for myself, my career and my family.

When I was in college, one of the deciding factors in choosing my major was the idea of being able to work from home when I had a family of my own. However, when actually given the opportunity and choice to do so, I couldn't pull the trigger. After all these years of planning for the day that I could realize my dreams and "have it all" as far as I was concerned, I couldn't do it. Why is that? What's wrong with me?

I have always wanted to have my own business. I have always wanted to work for myself. I have the work ethic to do so. I am resourceful enough to do so. Then what's holding me back? Fear!! Fear of the unknown. Fear of missing something important. And above all, fear of failure. Starting a new business is scary. There are not only a lot of steps involved in doing so, but there are always going to be your critics. I am not afraid of all of the steps. I am afraid of all those people who don't believe in me or my product. That's what I have to overcome. And you know what? Writing all of this down in a blog only makes me feel more confident, more motivated and less afraid to go after my dreams. 

As I sit typing these words, I am thinking of the people who never ask me how my business goals are coming, or those who don't ask about the products I have spent countless hours and late nights developing. I am thinking about those people who very obviously don't think I can do it. I have to prove them wrong. But that can't be my main motivation can it? Shouldn't I just want to do it for myself because it's a lifelong dream? I say "Yes!" to both of those questions. We have to find motivation to push forward no matter where it comes from. Motivation is motivation and I'll take it from wherever I can get it; from my opponents, to my proponents, to my little driving voice inside of me. So please stay tuned, people. You can hear my journey, every step of the way, and we'll see if I can make this happen!!

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

A Hug for My Dog Kito

I mentioned earlier that I lost my dog back in November of last year. Kito was a 13 year-old Rhodesian Ridgeback. I brought him home when he was 10 weeks old. The breeder told me he would be around 85 lbs. Those 85 lbs. lasted about 3 years. Then he was 92 lbs. Then he was 103 lbs. Then 112. At Kito's peak, he weighed a whopping 123 lbs.! That's 50% heavier than I was expecting! But he was tall, lean and very strong. He was my running partner. We'd do 7 miles roundtrip, running uphill to a mountain peak where we'd stop and rest; overlooking a beautiful hillside before continuing down to complete our exercise. And wouldn't you know it? We'd be home for about 30 minutes, Kito would get these bursts of energy and off to the dog park we'd go. That dog had more energy than he knew what to do with. He definitely kept me busy.

As a puppy, Kito was pretty typical. He destroyed several pairs of my shoes, a couple of cell. phones, patio furniture covers and even a door frame. He loved to be with me. He was the best road trip dog I've ever seen. He was crate-trained and cat-trained. He hated motorcycles, lawn mowers and electric scooters. He loved biscuits, begging and queen-sized beds. He was just the right kind of protective.

When the family would return home from a vacation, or Kito was just feeling frisky, he'd tear through the house with excitement like his bum was on fire. The kids would jump on the couch to get clear out of his path and squeal with laughter over every lap. My then 4 year-old daughter would put him on a leash and take him on walks through the house (something that never would have happened when he was younger than 10 years old - way too strong).

Kito could beg and whine like nobody's business. You could argue that those were his worst faults, though they were quite humorous when directed at particular people. My husband was one of them. The two of them would get into these staring matches where my husband usually lost. Kito just wanted to be treated like the rest of the family members. He never understood why he couldn't eat every meal identical to ours.

The day I had to say goodbye to my Kito was one of the hardest days of my life. During the week leading up to it, he gave me many signs that it was time for him to go. Still, I struggled with my decision. I asked my husband over and over again in the vet's office if I was making the right decision. I still have his collar in my bag. There are some things I still just can't completely let go of.
He was my companion, my best friend and my comfort. I miss you, my Kito Dia (Precious Champion.)